@Maxine12339: Daughter announced there will be rain for Thanksgiving. We usually have turkey but with her cooking skills rain will taste better.
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@Chumpstring: Attention Prayer Warriors: My neighbor left town for a funeral today. Please pray for God to protect & guide me as I steal his barbecue pit.
@StarWarsProblms: Anakin: Want to go out? Padmé: Ew. You’re 9. Anakin: Padmé: Talk to me in a decade when the age gap between us is exactly the same.
@FauxFawx: In 1974 I helped a man called "Falcon" throw a heavy bag into the river.That nite on the news, I learned what it was: 300lbs of used condoms
@TheMichaelRock: Batman would probably be a better crime-fighter if he wasn't making movies all the time.