@Maxine12339: Daughter announced there will be rain for Thanksgiving. We usually have turkey but with her cooking skills rain will taste better.
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@TheMichaelRock: How are expecting to cure cancer when we as a society can't figure out how to merge into traffic correctly?
@yoyoha: Just heard they're investigating a slaughterhouse in California for animal cruelty. IT'S A SLAUGHTERHOUSE
@girl_a_whirl: I'm quite sure if Adam had offered Eve a donut, that whole Garden of Eden thing would've gone in an entirely different direction.