@LoveNLunchmeat: Daughter has amputated three dolls in the span of twelve hours. Really hoping our dog is smart enough to stay away from her.
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@JohnnyCrash5: [First date & I'm super nervous] Her: Are you ok? Me: yesh. Her: did u just say yesh? Me: um Nosh.
@TheTimmyToes: [JanSport keynote address] (audience grumbling) "where is he?" *CEO emerges from backpack on stage* *crowd goes nuts*
@electrolemon: damn demi, your rap battle opponent didn't even try to diss your clothes. what's your secret. [camera pans out to show all-orange outfit]