@Momtoteens: Daughter just told me my hair looks good. The request for a ride will be coming in less than 10 minutes.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@SergioValenCo: Don't scream. I came to your house because you never responded to my DMs. Are you OK?
@JamColley: two year old comes up to me asking if I've seen a dummy, unaware that she's just set herself up for the most brutal slam of her little life.
@BangMyBongo: You get a green perennial vegetable, you get a green perennial vegetable, EVERYBODY GETS GREEN PERENNIAL VEGETABLES! - Okra
@Robert_Beau: Bartender: What will you have? Me: Whiskey BT: Straight? Me: Except for that one time in college. BT: Me: BT: Me: How 'bout them Red Sox?