@Momtoteens: Daughter just told me my hair looks good. The request for a ride will be coming in less than 10 minutes.
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@novicefather: My neighbor and I are really close. We call each other things like bro, man, dude, boss... We don't know each other's name.
@tacsanitchiban: Whenever someone says "let's get weird" my first thought is "I'm already there"
@CodyJP9412: I think one of the toughest parts about growing up is realizing that you don't sweat blue if you drink blue Gatorade.
@k_lli: If you capitalize 'him' in your tweets I'm gonna automatically assume you're subtweeting god.