@PaulGibson1963: Daughter steals my iPad so I left Google open on "too many kids" & "making it look accidental." Found my iPad but haven't seen her all day.
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@Paxochka: Champagne says I'm classy. Vodka says I can do anything I want. My therapist says I have to stop talking to my drinks.
@seamussaid: if your religion infringes on people's rights; sorry, you've had hundreds of years to change everyone's mind- obviously that hasn't happened
@AllanCresswell: Grampa: Back in my day, we slept on broken glass, you dunno how lucky you are. Me: Grampa, please. We have Twitter, at least you GOT sleep.
@Inconsteveable: Cigarettes are a lot like hamsters. Perfectly harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire.