@PaulGibson1963: Daughter steals my iPad so I left Google open on "too many kids" & "making it look accidental." Found my iPad but haven't seen her all day.
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@TheAlexNevil: Jaws 2 (1978): after the sudden death of his father, a young shark is forced to take over the family business in a seaside resort.
@JohnHilsen: My "friend" Adam gave me an electric toothbrush for my birthday. Completely unnecessary. My gas-powered toothbrush still runs fine, "Adam."
@weinerdog4life: I like to push the "stop time" button on the microwave and walk around in slow motion until my wife calls me an idiot.