@1par8head: Daughter text me from upstairs..come here and bring your glasses..that can only mean one thing...we are about to make fun of people on FB...
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@yonewt: Searching for that special woman to share my interest in candlelit dinners, walks on the beach, and losing my shit over inanimate objects
@Michael1979: My one weakness? Probably my unshakable belief that, despite a total lack of training, I'll be able to do karate if I'm ever in a fight.
@_mindflakes: We can put a man on the moon, but can we put a lobster in a postbox? Top scientists say: "stop calling here"