@1par8head: Daughter text me from upstairs..come here and bring your glasses..that can only mean one thing...we are about to make fun of people on FB...
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@TheMichaelRock: If you hate yourself, just drink alcohol like an adult; there's no need to vote for Trump.
@dafloydsta: 1. OMG will this ever end? 2. OMG will this ever end? 3. OMG will this ever end? -top 3 things on my mind when I'm in a a conversation
@WilliamRodgers: I'm not sure which is worse: People who force their religion on you... Or Anyone who's ever said "Oh it's because I'm a Virgo."
@WilliamRodgers: My wife told me to get a real job or pack my bags! What an idiot! Who threatens someone with a vacation???