@1par8head: Daughter text me from upstairs..come here and bring your glasses..that can only mean one thing...we are about to make fun of people on FB...
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@lecalabara: You catch more flies with honey, even more with a dead body and way more with honey on a dead body.
@pumpkin_horse: *cries over spilt milk* *cries under spilt milk* *cries adjacent to spilt milk* *cries immediately to the left of spilt milk* *cries diagona
@TheBoydP: It's hard for me to believe that the new Star Wars trailer has already been seen millions of times. How do they even know where it's parked?
@PaigeKellerman: I'm never a more ineffective parent than when I accidentally make threats that rhyme.