@erica_rosie: Stages of Candle Burning 1: this smells nice 2: still smells nice 3: this is all I can smell now 4: this is the only scent I have ever known

@l1zerd: I think there should be a small amount of weed in every first aid kit.

@DaddyJew: Me: *passes out pizza* 3: no fair, you have 4 slices and I only have 2 Me: *cuts his 2 slices into 6 slices* 3: wow, thank you

@mattvbrady: im about to go on a date. im sure it will be perfectly normal and wont go viral or anything...

@YUCKYBOT: "By night's end, one of these teams will be the victor." Thank you for that breakdown, Bob Costas. I was worried they might all die instead.