@KyleDodsonFunny: Watching married couples argue in Bed Bath & Beyond is my Game of Thrones.

@holypurgatory: A lot of people cry when they chop onions. The trick is not to form an emotional bond.

@PimpleEye: It's not that I don't like drinking, it's just I find that my aim when throwing bottles in your face is allot more accurate when I'm sober.

@eddiesteadyno: *feels comfortable* comfortable: *slaps hand away*

@spackary: Now I ain't saying she a gold digger, but she out in the field with a shovel & idk man she's diggin for somethin. Oh burying a body? Ok then