@vineyille: Day 20. Still lost at sea. Crew thinks I know how to plot a course with a protractor. I just like making it walk on the map. Pointy Leg Man.
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@LostCatDog: I peed in an ocean, but I'm not going to tell you which one - you're going to have to take your chances.
@wolfpupy: first you light 100 candles, then you fall asleep. this 'burn your house down' spell works every time
@Darlainky: -That toaster oven looks worn out. Why are you still using it? -Sentimental attachment. -It just caught fire. -Aww, just like old times.
@DaddyJew: "Get off the phone" "Wash your hands" "Pull up your pants" "Make me dinner" My son runs a pretty tight ship in our household