@vineyille: Day 20. Still lost at sea. Crew thinks I know how to plot a course with a protractor. I just like making it walk on the map. Pointy Leg Man.
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@howe007: If Russia prepares for war the way it prepares for the Olympics then we have nothing to worry about.
@Chumpstring: [grocery store] MOM: omg where's my kid??! KIDNAPPER: [retired] cereal aisle MOM: oh thank heavens
@TEXASVETERAN: I got out of bed this morning and decided it was time to turn it around. So, I did a 180 and went back to bed.
@Sickayduh: My dog ate a bunch of Scrabble tiles and now I gotta follow him around the yard because it's his turn