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@trevso_electric: Day 218 of making fun of CrossFit.
@SaulKewl: Riley can be a little girl's name, it's not always a dog's name. If someone says Riley's been sick don't bring up euthanasia right away.
@welfarehoe: "YOU WANNA TAKE THIS OUTSIDE!?" I yell to my husband as I hand him the trash.
@SurgicalTurtle: ME: [screaming into the void]
THE VOID: please untag me from this thread
@AbrasiveGhost: [Wife watching news]: The tuxedo store was robbed. Know anything about that?
Me in super frilly tux: Nope
*Dog walks in also wearing tux*
@dorsalstream: [kids fighting in the back seat]
ME: I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL PULL OVER AND START A PODCAST RIGHT NOW IF YOU 2 DON'T CUT IT OUT.