@hippieswordfish: [day 38 on the ark]
NOAHS WIFE: we're out of food
NOAH: don't worry, i have a contingency plan
UNICORN: why are u lookin at me like that
![[day 38 on the ark]
NOAHS WIFE: we’re out of food
NOAH: don’t worry, i have a contingency plan
UNICORN: why are u lookin at me like that](/cache/88489.jpg)
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@ThaJawn: *gives up horoscopes for Lent *caves and reads horoscope "You are weak willed and lack conviction"
@3sunzzz: Dentists that pass out lollipops at the end of your child's dental cleaning, are passing out little pieces of job security.
@AngrEdmontonian: Apparently, "Step up your game" isn't the correct response when your neighbour brings over fresh cookies, and your wife asks how they are.
@Playing_Dad: [Walking around park with kid] Daughter: Daddy, why is grass green? Me: Because God wants to remind me I have no money everywhere
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