@dumbbeezie: Day 65: My dog still insists on acting happy to see people despite my example and training
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@SaltyCorpse: I can't wait till I'm old enough to pretend to fall asleep mid conversation and nobody questions it.
@junejuly12: Whenever an automatic hand dryer doesn't turn on for me, I like to think my diet is really working.
@AngelicGirlxD: I’m 22 years old & I just realized that “This little piggy went to the market” doesn’t mean he went food shopping
@notalogin: Dog: I'm a man's best friend, he even named one of his teeth after me. Pussycat: Yeah, you're not gonna win this one.