@wickedimproper: Day One, living in one of those tiny houses: "Well, isn't this quaint?"
Day Two: Murder
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@KevinFarzad: "I have $50, less than an hour, and a ton of cocaine. Let's make a commercial!" - every furniture store owner
@BarbiesUglyCuzn: What is this 'wrong hole' you people speak of?
@KalvinMacleod: ME: I got pizza sauce on my mouse. I need a new one. IT DEPARTMENT: You should just be able to wipe it off. ME: Too late, I ate it.
@DanMentos: "So you met the victim on tinder" Yes "Do you often meet women on tinder"? Yeah I've been murdering it on there *lawyer puts head in hands*
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