@TOMayorFord: Daylight Saving Time starts this evening, turn your clocks forward and change smoke alarm batteries before going to bed tonight.
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@jackiembouvier: Maybe, if I sit very still, this nice family at Olive Garden won't notice that I'm sitting at their table eating their bread sticks.
@Lexxivy: If your boyfriend is ever about to break up with you, yell "what about the baby!" You'll be in a relationship for at least another 5 minutes
@MommaWordsIt: My milk of magnesia brings all the boys to the yard and they're like, you sounded younger on the phone.
@EyeSeeYou619: ME: Since Tatooine has 2 suns shouldn't Luke Skywalker cast 2 shadows? GEORGE LUCAS:*pressing intercom* Security, she's in the house again.