@TOMayorFord: Daylight Saving Time starts this evening, turn your clocks forward and change smoke alarm batteries before going to bed tonight.
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@hazelmotes1: Wife: wow, we must have had a lot of trick or treaters come by! Me: wha? Her: Because all the candy is gone Me: Ooooh right. So many.
@panmidwest: Stranger: so what do you do? Me: I'm in seminary S: seminary huh? so you can't get married? M: nah, I can't get married bc of my personality
@BoutCrazed: Hey Febreze, I don't go around with garbage in my car, but if nobody could tell I just smoked a joint in there, I might buy some.
@Book_Krazy: I secretly replaced my husbands coffee with the empty toilet paper roll he left in the bathroom. Let's see if he notices.