@PrettyNBoots: Deactivated my FB. Before the final "submit", they show you pictures of "friends" that says "These people will miss you". Best laugh ever.
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@ch000ch: therapist: im glad u overcame ur fear of snakes and all but- me, with a snake: ur gonna say i shouldn't have married this snake aren't u
@Parkerlawyer: My husband let me sleep in late and then made me pancakes. Someone please let Dateline know my death was absolutely premeditated.
@ashmensch: That's me, I'm the coroner, That's me with the sharp knife, Removing all your organs.
@tiemespankme: I like long walks along the beach until the drugs wear off & I realize I'm actually crawling through the sand at the local construction site