@msdanifernandez: [dean tries handing me a diploma as I walk across the stage] I have a boyfriend
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@AGreaterMonster: As it turns out you cannot recharge your cell plugging it in to an electric eel. I'm just glad this aquarium had a paramedic on duty.
@Cheeseboy22: Mowed the lawn yesterday with my shirt off and this morning there were 50 shirts left on my porch with a sign that said, "Please wear."
@Rollinintheseat: Interviewer: "What's your greatest strength?" *45 minutes later* Me: "I'm very comfortable with silence."