@mattwhitlockPM: dear apps that shut off my music when i open them: just how important do you think you are
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@AndrewChamings: ME: In 1923 W. C. Fields said "It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to." BARISTA: I just need to write something on the cup.
@SocialustGal13: News is reporting a nun just had a baby. It's official, a nun is getting more action than me.
@PaulyPeligroso: If the light turns green & the guy behind you honks cause he thinks you're taking too long to go get out & start checking your tire pressure