@rickkondell: Dear autocorrect, please stop changing my rude words into nice ones. You piece of shut.
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@TheTalkingPipe: This beautiful woman is winking at me right now. Now she's using the other eye. Oh never mind. She's falling asleep.
@WildeThingy: Having survived numerous mysterious strangers attempting to kill him as a child, Hitler swore revenge on a cruel world.
@tequilasaltlife: He's going to change just for you? Wow, you must be a very special kind of stupid
@carlyken: Noah's Ark was so unrealistic. Have you ever tried to pen up velociraptors? Did the guy who wrote the Bible even watch Jurassic Park first?