@chicnlil1: Dear boyfriend, i can make ur girlfriend scream louder than u can.
@Schmoodles: Checking my lotto numbers makes me forget everything I know about probability, and gives me a temporary belief in the power of prayer.
@intellegint: Girls love it when guys:
- are respectful
- are handsome
- eat watermelon really fast and spit out the seeds like a machine gun
@tarashoe: how bout i spell YOUR name wrong, Stahrbux. hm? how bout i pronounce it wrong, too, huh? you like that? how's that feel, Stlerbecks?
@flashember: [to wife on phone] yes spend all our life savings on honey
PLS JUST DO IT
BEAR [holding gun to my head]: u did good
@mynameshank: My therapist cries "Why me?" for the full hour.