@Elizasoul80: Dear Californians- Quit telling everyone there's a drought. The ocean is right there. You're just lazy.
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@JRehling: The FAA has shut down airspace over Ferguson, which must be to stop the problem of people rioting and looting in the sky. #FergusonDecision
@preawsaurus: it's always the wrong ex who gets drunk and messages you a million times about how much he loves you.
@FrogAvalanche: [Jesus plays hide-n-seek] Jesus: [exiting cave] Ah, ya found me! Let's play again. Harder this time. Find me now. [He ascends to Heaven]