@ag_loco: Dear Canadians,
Who's the cutest little nation?
Yes you are!
@Underchilde: Most household injuries are caused by saying “whatever” during an argument.
@Reverend_Scott: If you watch the movie Twister backwards it's the story of friendly tornados saving lives, rebuilding destroyed towns and playing with cows.
@farahfergie: Premarital counseling should be having the couple put together IKEA furniture with limited Wi-Fi connection. #weddingparty #romance
@sabre_squirrel: *saves dandruff for 7 years to throw as confetti at friends wedding that i never really liked*
@thenatewolf: *on a first date*
Me: [remembering how my friend said women like mysterious men] my favorite color is a secret