@behindyourback: Dear Couples Who Fight In Public, stop trying to whisper and would it kill you to include some backstory.
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@timdonakowski: When a coworker tells everyone he proposed, I'm the guy that asks, "So, what did she say?" I'm funny that way.
@MrSpoonicorn: yells "PARKOUR" then strokes a dog the wrong way, the camera zooms in on the dogs face, he portrays mild annoyance
@davedittell: ZOMBIE MOM: Brains for dinner! TEEN ZOMBIE: Again?!? [slamming bedroom door] I wish I was alive!!