@behindyourback: Dear Couples Who Fight In Public, stop trying to whisper and would it kill you to include some backstory.
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@thetits: [just meeting a new group of people] My brain: say something cool and different Me: HOW YA'LL GOT?? Brain: nice
@OkieGirl405: My favorite people are the ones that like to pass judgement on others because they have obviously lead a perfect life
@wickedsuga: Nothing says "I love you" like my cat aggressively bathing herself immediately after I pet her.
@TribalSpaceCat: PILOT OVER INTERCOM: alright folks, by a show of hands, who has ever made a small and understandable mistake?