@behindyourback: Dear Couples Who Fight In Public, stop trying to whisper and would it kill you to include some backstory.
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@MarfSalvador: [Funeral] Her: [Through tears] I'm gonna need your support today Him: You got it babe [waves flag and presses air horn] WIFE! WIFE! WIFE!
@just1fool: If you can't handle me at my worst then you are tolerable of the right amount of bullshit.
@sad_tree: *Killer sneaks into my house to murder me but sees me practicing karate w/ my big stuffed dog I won from the carnival and changes his mind*