@jwoodham: Dear Diary: Day 1 of being a gang member. Wore a bandana today, but took it off after a woman shouted "you go girl!" from across the street.
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@bourgeoisalien: No matter how stupid you feel, remember, Little Red Riding Hood couldn't figure out a talking wolf in drag wasn't her grandmother
@Dutch_50: I always say no to drugs. But, if they ever start deep frying them, I'm in big trouble.
@Parkerlawyer: 7 brought me breakfast in bed, which in theory was super sweet, except in reality it was a poptart at 4am.
@hansabumsadaisy: #rubbishjokes Watched all Star Wars movies back to back with my friend. Luckily I was the one facing the TV.