@jwoodham: Dear Diary: Day 1 of being a gang member. Wore a bandana today, but took it off after a woman shouted "you go girl!" from across the street.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@WhaJoTalkinBout: Her: How do you do it w/ 4 kids? Hubs: With the door locked. Me: She means how do we manage...but yeah.
@yoyoha: Went to the hospital to wish a pregnant lady giving birth a Happy Labor Day and she ripped my throat out :(
@crushingbort: *crowd in 1889 screaming because I appeared out of thin air and shot a baby* that was Baby Hitler...everyone calm down that was Baby Hitler
@thatUPSdude: HR: What are some of your strengths? Me: Shifting the blame HR: That's a horrible reply Me: No, your question was! HR: Wow, you're good!