@jwoodham: Dear Diary: Day 41 at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry. So far none of the other students have noticed that my wand is a Slim Jim.
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@Cidisn: *turns around in chair dramatically* Hello... *chair turns around again* ...I've been expecting you... *again* ..., Repair-Man.
@knotaprettygirl: Let's give a big round of applause to everyone on Facebook who went to the gym today even though they "hate it"!! They are the real heroes.
@TheCiscoKidder: I knew it was time to vacuum when the baby rolled over and looked like an everything bagel.