@Sassafrantz: Dear Diary, men think about sex every 7 seconds. I do that with pizza.
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@Jaywoo74: Wife: You act like a child with that phone. Me: Child? I'm a grown ass man. Wife: Let me see your phone. Me: No. *snatches phone Me: MINE
@flashember: Think you know guilt? *takes long drag on cigarette* I'm the wildebeest who killed Mufasa. *exhales* I hear Simba's screams every night.
@AmericanGent69: Saying "oh my gosh you're getting so big!" is cute and acceptable to say to a 6 year old. Not so much to an ex-girlfriend.