@Sassafrantz: Dear Diary, men think about sex every 7 seconds. I do that with pizza.
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@tigersgoroooar: If a boy put rose petals all over my bed I’d be like you’re cleaning this up I’m not cleaning this up
@Amburglar_: When asked by the creepy guy at the bar "Why aren't you smiling?" my go-to answer is always "My yeast infection really is bubbling up."
@Smooheed: *puts on sexy underwear and high heels* *grabs whip* *flicks whip* *searches for scissors to extricate whip from hair*