@MenHumor: Dear Edward, maybe the reason you can't read Bella's mind is because there's nothing in her head. Sincerely, Logic.
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@MartaEffing: I don't understand how wild bears can eat all that salmon without a squeeze of lemon and some sea salt.
@primawesome: If the CIA has my house bugged they've heard several impromptu songs about my dog being a good boy.
@ilikeyouguys: What if gravity...was invented by the vacuum industry so there was always shit on the floor to clean up. Just hear me out tho.