@MenHumor: Dear Edward, maybe the reason you can't read Bella's mind is because there's nothing in her head. Sincerely, Logic.
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@MouVanLee: Reasons why i never let my girlfriend touch my iPhone. 1) I don't have iPhone. 2) I don't have a girlfriend.
@muskrat_john: "WHAT ARE WE TO TELL THE CHILDREN ABOUT GAYS MARRYING?" Dunno. I'll ask my 5-year-old, who just married her stuffed bear to a stuffed pony.
@shawnspree: Me: (Insert inspirational quote here) Wife: Wow. That's deep, who said that? Me: I did. Didn't you hear me speak just now?