@MenHumor: Dear Edward, maybe the reason you can't read Bella's mind is because there's nothing in her head. Sincerely, Logic.
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@marcusparkersol: If you hate Capitalism so much, then just write everything in lower case. Problem solved.
@underrateDad: 83% of parenting is repeating the same set of instructions over and over using a different kid's name.
@3sunzzz: I took a Viagra just to see what would happen, I couldn't sit down for four hours. Narrator: Ursula should never be left unsupervised.
@brunopieroni: Just ran into Björk walking into her hjötel. Ljöking fjörward to her show at Pitchfjörk tjönight (hjöly shit my Icelandic is pjërfect).