@ItsJennaMarbles: Dear girls that go tanning, it's called 'sunkissed', it's not called 'dorito raped'.
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@dxblarssonENG: Top three reasons he doesn't text you back: 1. He's just not that into you 2. He's imaginary 3. He's a cat
@DurtMcHurtt: My grandma was so poor she only left me recipes for pasta dishes in her will, you could say she was my.. *golf swings* Pennefactor.