@mlccm: Dear god, please let me have sex at least as often as adobe or java needs an update. Everyday.
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@Tw1tter_K1tten: I did laundry for 7 miles according to my Fitbit that I accidentally washed and dried.
@vanderwangwe: Her: I want to have your babies. Me: You'll have to wait until they get off from school.
@EtobicokeErnie: Statistics show that married men live a lot longer than single men. However married men are a lot more willing to die.
@Boleyngirly: I don't know why this driver threw his hands up and asked what I was doing. I thought it was pretty clear I was cutting him off.