@_SirPrincess: Dear God, thank you for not giving spiders wings.
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@ZingingCutie: If I end up on life support, feel free to pull the plug.. However, if I'm charging my phone, stay the hell away from the outlet.
@Mr_Kapowski: Me: "I injured myself at the gym" Buddy: "Too much weight?" Me: "I guess. I was just trying to lift my Segway onto the treadmill"
@LOsepyan: Me? Need a Bag? Nah chill son, Ima juggle this 6 pack of beer and watermelon on my head while riding a scooter.
@Sassafrantz: Sorry I unfriended you after seeing your Facebook "Year In Review" but it was bad enough the first time.