@MoistPork: Dear guy sitting next to me at the bar wearing camouflage: I can still see you.
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@HiddleDeeDee: "There is a policeman in here and he will ARREST YOU." And other inspirational things I say to my kids when we're in public.
@ActuallyEmerson: Gay guys don't listen to girls talk either, but we do have the good sense to say "I know, right?!" while we wait for our turn to talk.
@iRowlf: I bet the skeletons, in my gay coworker's closet, are having a dress up party with fabulous clothes.
@KentWGraham: Our forefathers fought against British rule so anyone can become president. For the first time in 240 years, we’re regretting that decision.