@DBMaxP: Dear lady arguing w/ the clerk over whether or not it is "good" champagne: YOU ARE IN A GAS STATION!
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@LivibelsDada: You know you're too drunk to drive when you swerve to miss a tree then realise it was your air freshener.
@Try2StopME: Friend: "Dude, me & my girlfriend are getting married." ME: "Wow! when?" Friend: "Me on 27th April and she on 14th June."
@chrissyteigen: I just realized that when I murder someone my neighbors will never describe me as "quiet"
@JaneBadall: My son approaches even small chores with the enthusiasm of a POW forced to build a railway bridge over the river Kwai.