Funny Tweeter

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@StatusInBeirut: Dear media: There's nothing shocking about celebrities going topless, getting drunk, or falling over. nnLet me know when they read a book.

Dear media: There’s nothing shocking about celebrities going topless, getting drunk, or falling over. nnLet me know when they read a book.
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@TheToddWilliams: I know it's International Women's Day but I'd like to give a shout out to all the national and local women as well.

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@Shock_Monster: Me: That the new iPhone? Him: Yup! The 5S! Me: What's the difference? Him: The C stands for "Cheap" Me: What about the S? Him: "'Spensive"

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@Jake_Vig: POLICE: Sir, do you know how fast you were going? ME: Jealous much?

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@PaperWash: *Takes ex girlfriend's poem on Antiques Road Show* Sir these are worthless *Winks at camera* Told you Karen!

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