@reczit: Dear messed-up memory, please tell me where are my keys instead of reminding me that shit I did on May 08, 2002 at 09;13;54 PM.
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@MindyFurano: Shit. Gotta huge job interview tomorrow and I have no clue where I put my prom dress
@LuckoftheDraw86: Either I just stepped in dog shit or the stench of my parent's disappointment has started following me around.
@StarWarsProblms: [at the shooting range] Recruit: Sir, I missed every target. Officer: Perfect. *makes him a stormtrooper*
@1Happytwit: If someone asks what you do for a living and you reply "I'm a lunatic" they won't ask any more questions.