@reczit: Dear messed-up memory, please tell me where are my keys instead of reminding me that shit I did on May 08, 2002 at 09;13;54 PM.
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@ibid78: Ever since we lowered our ceilings here at the shipyard, sails have gone through the roof.
@DainWins: Life hack: McDonald's will deliver if you tell them that you are holding Ronald hostage for a ransom of [your desired food order]
@cjwerleman: When Obama declared war on Ebola, an executive producer at Fox News tried to find it on google maps.