@reczit: Dear messed-up memory, please tell me where are my keys instead of reminding me that shit I did on May 08, 2002 at 09;13;54 PM.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ambienbabe: I say "fight me" a lot for a girl that's 5'2" and has a tough time opening some doors because they're too heavy.
@RidiculousSheri: Love means never having to say you're sorry for accidentally bringing home six more cats.
@JaymayAllDay: "No thanks, I filled up on breadsticks." - Eve to the Serpent in the Olive Garden of Eden
@abbycohenwl: Waiter: Ma'am, your meal comes with two sides Me (dragging a cigarette): Everything does, kid. Everything