@Chyld: Dear North Carolina, if you let guys marry each other, you'll have more available women in your family to date!
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@fatherofcomedy: People think i am so incapable of doing anything on my own that even if i commit suicide they would say it was murder.
@ghostkrogh: Me (digging a hole): how's this? My clone: at least 6 feet deeper Me: you sure there's treasure? My Clone: toss me up your keys bud
@BoogTweets: *Busts through Kool-aid mans wall* Kool-aid man: Not cool. What I do is fake. This is our home Me: I'm sorr… *A sippy cup starts crying*
@sageboggs: KANYE: I made Taylor Swift famous TRUMP: We should ban all Muslims KANYE: BILL COSBY INNOCENT TRUMP: THE POPE SUCKS KANYE: damn ur good