@JennyJohnsonHi5: Dear parents of college students on Spring Break, Congrats!!! Many of you are about to be grandparents!!!
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@heatherlou_: If I could teach my kid anything it would be do not attempt to lay on my face. Give me my personal space please, tiny leech.
@ThatBrenna: West Side Story gave me the wrong impression. No one at this gang fight is a good dancer and I've been shot in the arm.
@jazmasta: Ever think about an old friend and wonder what they're doing right now? They're playing on their phone. Everyone is playing on their phone.
@Spaziotwat: I can finish The Times' crossword in under five minutes but I struggle to eat the whole paper