@cdncyn: Dear parents with unattended children they will be given 4 red bulls and a kazoo
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@ChiefTwittler: Probing: Aliens have had plenty of time to figure out our biology -now they're just having fun.
@John_M15: Saw an article on Facebook that a local bank was robbed. It had one like. They should probably look at that person as the robbery suspect.
@Diversion50: POLICE OFFICER: Your name? MAN: The Rock. POLICE OFFICER: Your FULL name? MAN: [quietly] Theodore Rockinghorse.