@cdncyn: Dear parents with unattended children they will be given 4 red bulls and a kazoo
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@ThePocketJustin: I've done all the cleaning and ironing but I've forgot why I broke into this house in the first place.
@daveexplosm: Ever since Facebook allowed images in their comments sections people only ever communicate via pictures. We're 21st-century cavemen.
@Neauxpe: Anytime a religious organization follows me I just assume I'm being used as a case study/example and they are praying super hard.
@TheTobbie: On Facebook, someone posted that they have 90 days of pregnancy left. The 1st commenter said 'when are you due?' This is why we are here...