@randomnloveit: Dear people that brush your teeth in the bathroom at work: stop that. You don't live here. Chew gum like the rest of us.
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@Black__Elvis: Bad news: you're unable to get pregnant. Oh no! Is it my uterus, doctor? No, your eHarmony profile says you've seen Star Wars 13 times.
@WheelTod: Early in any job interview be sure to use the phrase "I always give 110%", so you can quickly gauge their tolerance for working with idiots.