@randomnloveit: Dear people that brush your teeth in the bathroom at work: stop that. You don't live here. Chew gum like the rest of us.
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@TrainedHedonist: Movie idea: Channing Tatum and Chris Hemsworth are called on by the US government to take their shirts off and punch people who read books.
@ericaj1721: I'm always behind the person at McDonald's who acts like they've never seen the menu in their life
@jbryantiii: As a young child my mom told me I could be anything I wanted to be. It turns out that the police call this identity theft.