@lemonmartinis: Dear people who question why girls go to the bathroom together - Hermione went alone and got attacked by a troll
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@iAmDelFreaky: Me: I wonder what the wicked witch's name is. 7: Ding Dong. Me: What? 7: The song says, Ding Dong the Witch is dead. Me: Oh. My. God. 😂
@toastymoe: Some people should be forced to carry a plant around with them, to replace the oxygen they waste.
@NinjaFuneral: I hope this guy at the urinal next to me can see that I'm checking Twitter and not taking pictures.