@lemonmartinis: Dear people who question why girls go to the bathroom together - Hermione went alone and got attacked by a troll
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@ShivangiJha08: 9y/o~poking finger on my face. Me(yelling)~dont touch me with your finger Later~glad he got loophole now what to do with a foot on my face
@murrman5: [at divorce lawyer] bad news, currently all your husbands assets are frozen "he didn't" he bought 1547 copies of it, he must really hate you
@WheelTod: It's amazing the little things you learn about your kids as they grow everyday. For example today I learned my 3yo is kind of a mean drunk.