@autocorrects: Dear people who question why girls go to the bathroom together, Hermoine went alone and got attacked by a troll.
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@CakeThrottle: Today I learned that wolves are not ticklish. Tomorrow I need to learn how to tie my shoes with one hand.
@Sarcasticsapien: I like how people say pets love you unconditionally like if you didn't feed them and someone else did they wouldn't go to them immediately.
@Kyle_Lippert: DATING IN THE 1800s 1) Get telegram from Mae 2) Wait to respond. Don't be desperate 3) Get telegram that Mae died of dysentery while waiting
@sixthformpoet: The tragedy of Scooby-Doo is that whoever kept supplying criminals with such realistic prosthetic masks was never caught.