@autocorrects: Dear people who question why girls go to the bathroom together, Hermoine went alone and got attacked by a troll.
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@Darlainky: Me: Forgive me father for I have sinned. I'm here to cleanse my conscience. Bartender: So...the usual?
@aparnapkin: Friendship: because I've said many dumb things & you acted like they were TED talks
@Flattliner: My daughter's been seeing someone called Jim. Only for an hour each time, always in sports gear and often sweaty afterwards. I don't approve
@laurajennyjo: "I forgot my phone, so what do u want to talk about?" ... *knocks on stall wall* "Hello? Can u hear me?" ... "I like your shoes...Hello?" ..