@treywafer: Dear police: if you're going to racial profile, how about you check out the white boy dressed like he's in the matrix
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@aka_fatman: President, first day on the job: *pushing a button* Janet can you- [two nuclear missiles launch towards Moscow] That wasn't the intercom.
@dorsalstream: ME: Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? DEATH: WE GET THERE WHEN WE GET THERE.
@ArfMeasures: GF: What's my biggest flaw? ME: You haven't got any, you're perfect, I love you GF: No come on, I mean pacifically ME: We should split up