@MommaUnfiltered: Dear Snapchat, I don't care what I look like as a strawberry, just give me a filter that makes me look like I showered.
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@Jazzzzzmina: After watching Honey Boo Boo, I realize America has much bigger problems than the national debt.
@kimtopher22: I hope my friends don't notice that I'm taking the guest bath shower head home with me.
@AntozWolf: I got really excited when she talked about a motorboat date, but as it turns out, she just wanted to take a ride on the lake. *sigh*