@treywafer: Dear white people: you stop Adam Sandler from making movies and we'll stop Eddie Murphy.
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@BeingDBEAST: The kid next door just challenged me to a water fight, so I thought I'd tweet this while I wait for the water to boil...
@behindyourback: My 1 yr old only says the words "no," "mine," and "bye" and I tried it out and it turns out that's actually all you need.
@ParkerTheKing: I will do a lot of things but admiting I'm cold to my mom when she told me to bring a jacket is not one.