@Go2Slp: Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to start the journey from I Can't Breathe Without You to I'll Choke You Out In Public.
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@Home_Halfway: I once went to a party with 10% battery life on my phone so you can shut the hell up about your "scary" battle at Normandy, grandpa.
@KizerBillhelm: HR says I'm not allowed to scream "OH GOD IT BURNS MAKE IT STOP" when I walk through the front door at work anymore :(
@gentilecoont: Do you guys remember 10 years ago, when all the people with gluten allergies were dying in the streets like diseased cattle?
@jonnysun: DATE: dessert? MY BRAIN: im full MY STOMACH: i want food DATE: one piece of chocolate wont hurt MY DOG: THAT MAN IS TRYIMG TO KILL MY OWNER