@eileencurtright: Death hack: bury your loved ones with their fitness trackers for a low-cost early zombie alert system.
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@DrDogMD: PATIENT: I bet medical school was pretty tough DR DOG: yeah I remember one time I did an assignment 4 times bc I ate the first 3 copies lol
@Tmoney68: Me: Where do you want to eat? Her: Wherever you pick is fine. Narrator: Wherever he picked was not fine.
@Ivsy01: A guy in line next to me just asked me to hold his coffee and I'm like I'm not looking for anything serious right now.
@Ms_WhateverV: Kids....because who doesn't enjoy a fun game of "What the hell is that smell and whose room is it coming from?"