@TheThomason: Death row last meal? Starfish. Eat a leg, it grows back. Sit back and enjoy a long life eating starfish legs in an electric chair.
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@dorkwing_duck: [PRESS CONFERENCE] Me: I'm going on the record. Yes, I'd go back in time to kill a baby Reporter: you mean Baby Hitler? Me: sure, whoever
@daemonic3: [art store] You do free framing? "With any purchase" Ok, just this pencil and [slides a gun with wife's fingerprints] you know what to do
@tastefactory: Cop: Save it for the JUDGE! Crook:Ok *crook wraps up last slice of pizza in foil* Lawyer: it's too bad the judge had to miss our pizza party
@Pro_Jones_: Farmer Dad: Having a good party son? Farmer Son: No. The music sucks. FD: Well then- FS: Don't. FD: Lettuce turnip the beet.