@TheRealRHB: Debit card was repeatedly declined at the grocery store today. I was trying to buy vegetables so the bank just assumed the card was stolen
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@jordan_stratton: I like to intentionally barge into guys wearing camo and then look around bewildered like I have no idea what I just ran into.
@CulturedRuffian: Waiter: Did you save room for dessert? Me: Not really, I'm stuffed Waiter: Ok, I'll bring the check Me: I'll have the chocolate cake.
@robyn_vo: It's so annoying when attractive people say they're ugly just to get compliments from people, ugh if I weren't so ugly I'd do the same thing