@TheRealRHB: Debit card was repeatedly declined at the grocery store today. I was trying to buy vegetables so the bank just assumed the card was stolen
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@jjhartinger: I went to the Gym and the power went out. I whispered, "thank you baby jesus" and left.
@KizerBillhelm: Satan: you can spend eternity in hell OR you can go to work for the first time in 5 days. Me: hmmm Satan: well? Me: IM THINKING, DAMN IT
@KeetPotato: [airport] "you should have used a tag" [a horse emerges on luggage belt] noone else has brought a horse linda [another horse appears] oh FFS