@TheMichaelRock: December 23rd should be called Christmas Adam since it always comes before Christmas Eve.
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@WheelTod: Seduce Angela Merkel by fondling the hem of her cardigan while whispering "Aren't you too pretty to be a Chancellor?"
@moose_chocolate: I routinely take 8 flights of stairs for no other reason than to avoid idle chit chat in the elevator. See, hating people can be healthy!
@joekellyjk47: As a child, it really stressed me out that Rocky was late to his second fight with Apollo Creed. I mean, don't be late to that.
@egg_dog: Teacher: ok class bring your dioramas to the front of the class Me: [holding a bowl of diahorrea] oh no…