@Northside_Mike: Decided to plant some marijuana seeds in my vegetable garden hoping I could come up with some dope beets.
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@Donnie_Fairburn: [On a treadmill next to a girl at the gym] Me: *Out of breath* Feeling the burn? Her: Yup Me: Me too! Her: How? Your machine isn't even on
@davedittell: yeah, we r a non-traditional family. instead of naming our dog, we let him name us. I'm Woof, this is my husband Woof, & these r Woof & Woof
@michaelianblack: The whole thing about "we're all going to die some day," that's a joke, right?