@Northside_Mike: Decided to plant some marijuana seeds in my vegetable garden hoping I could come up with some dope beets.
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@bmarked21: My new credit card has this awesome theft protection where it just says "declined" whenever you use it.
@shaztaberry: I am going to the Antique Roadshow. Gonna slap my tampon on the table and ask them what period it's from.
@rachel2manypaws: In a war with my neighbor to see who can attract more hummingbirds. We need more wars like this.
@dire_beard: If a child's survival depended on my ability to share bacon, I would weep greasy, bacony tears at that child's funeral.