@Northside_Mike: Decided to plant some marijuana seeds in my vegetable garden hoping I could come up with some dope beets.
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@KatieBurnett: I've just seen a girl post a selfie with her dead grandma on facebook and thousands have commented "rip". Stop the internet, I wanna get off
@Tommytoughstuff: "Let's check in with Ted our correspondent in the field." Ted: "Hey Bob I've been in this field for about an hour, and I'm super bored."
@SeanLowe09: I just heated up a delicious chocolate brownie and put some ice cream on top of it & sat on the couch to enjoy it. Seconds later, Catherine asked Samuel if he’d like a bite on MY brownie. I faked a smile and gave him a bite. Soon after, she asked him AGAIN. I have no wife.
@egg_dog: imagine a reverse pizza. the missing hole on the table where the pizza is meant to be. everything else is pizza. the solar system. the air.