@VintageBabe1212: Decided to stop partying at friends houses who have toddlers... Those childproof bathroom doorknobs are absolutely hell to open while drunk.
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@Illuminati_Stop: "WATERMELON" HAS 4 SYLLABLES. "ILLUMINATI" HAS 5 SYLLABLES. THAT'S PRETTY CLOSE. WATERMELON IS ILLUMINATI.
@thispartyislame: Sprayed a spider with some Davidoff Cool Water & it didn't die. Now I'm just stuck with a spider that I wanna bang.
@AnkCoupleTO: I'm lost & peeing on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere, just wish this bear who's about to kill me gave me a little more privacy