@bornmiserable: Deck the halls. Kick the windows. Strike the doors. Pummel the chandeliers. Clog the toilets. You will defeat this house.
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@kirstiealley: I thought I found a baby owl today that needed help. He was an adult pigmy owl who let me pick him up then clawed and bit me. He is free now
@Sassafrantz: Some guy just asked if I was Asian cuz he's China get in my pants. Hope your day is as magical as mine.
@Phook75: I'm actually not sure if the Wife decorated the tree really well or she just created the best Lady Gaga outfit in history
@jonnysun: "the names bond, james bond" [5 min later] STARBUCKS BARISTA: i gota frappe for borbjorbple