@whtedaisy: Decks. Because I like to be outdoors, but not like all on the ground and shit.
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@jeannerbeaner: Pronounce it "Valentimes Day" so Cupid will know to shoot you right in your stupid face.
@envydatropic: Stuck between "that was awesome" and "OMG do you need medical attention" wherever I walk off the dance floor
@JennyJohnsonHi5: Taylor Swift tweeted a picture of her cat watching the Olympics and just as I suspected, Taylor's bedroom looks like a giant doily.
@Prof_BrianCocks: "14 years, £20 billion later and my team have finally finished building a Large Hadron Kaleidoscope." "You mean Collider?" "Oh shit!"